peter.gaskin@humanistceremonies.org.uk 07817 364277 (call, text or WhatsApp)
Celebrations of Life
Funerals and Memorials
Everyone has a special story ..
I approach funerals and memorials in a very open and authentic way and aim to help people process what has happened but also commemorate and celebrate the life of the person who has died. Ceremonies will often include humour - sometimes laughter, alongside tenderness and poignant memories and tears. Ceremonies may feel like a roller-coaster of emotions but thats OK - it's real, authentic and after all - that's what people lives are like.
Recognising that many people gathered at a funeral may have a faith I always try and leave space for personal reflection to allows anyone who wishes to do so to offer a silent prayer.
Helping people remember and talk about a person who has died has proven time and time again to be a really cathartic experience for families and a deeply satisfying part of my work as a funeral celebrant.
I believe strongly that everyone deserves respect, dignity and thanks.
Funerals and memorials can be very moving - and focusing on a persons life and personality can make them particularly moving - but can also be comforting and uplifting - even enjoyable. And that is how things should be where they can be.
Everyone has a story and everyone's story is special.
Kath - Walton Lea Crematorium, Warrington
Peter did us proud with ceremony, friends were telling me how he did a perfect ceremony for my husband and I totally agree. Peter kept in contact with us to make sure my husband got the send off he deserved and he was absolutely the right choice for us. I definitely recommend a humanist ceremony and I absolutely recommend Peter .
Christine - Blacon Crematorium, Chester
The conversation prior to the service really helped at putting together lovely memories of my Dad. By talking through his life I remembered things which were important and these were written into the eulogy. Peter was kind, empathetic, patient and easy to talk to. He made the whole process very easy and put everything together into a lovely service
Helen - Chester
Memorial & Natural Burial
Peter was wonderful. He took great care to understand my sister, Rae. He ensured the ceremony reflected her just right. The process of talking to him about her really helped with those early days of acute grief. He has such a kind, warm and approachable manner. I would highly recommend him.
Heather - Blacon Crematorium, Chester
Peter Gaskin was so easy to talk to and made a difficult experience bearable. His gentle delivery of the eulogy was commented on by those who attended as ‘so fitting for Pete.’
Sheila - Blacon Crematorium, Chester
Peter did an excellent job his wording was absolutely perfect. Everyone commented on how lovely the service was.
Jo - Frodsham
Memorial
Peter made my anxieties disappear and guided me knowledgeably and kindly through the process of constructing a service my mum would have thoroughly enjoyed. He took great care and much time collecting information from me and my dad, whom he visited in his care home, and shaped the whole into articulate, insightful and humorous text. He delivers sincerely, clearly and without anything that could be called \"showiness\". At a slight technical hitch in our family photo film, he was calm and efficient, when I was would have dissolved! My dad liked Peter and the service and so I hope one day Peter will be available to use his many skills and empathy to celebrate my dad\'s life too. I cannot praise him enough.
Ken- Mold
Memorial
Peter was fantastic and delivered the most uplifting, yet poignant ceremony we could have hoped for. He was incredibly helpful and understanding throughout the planning of the memorial and everybody talked about how magnificent he was. I cannot recommend him highly enough
Pat - Flintshire Crematorium
Peter was absolutely wonderful and I am so happy it was him. He put into words exactly who my husband was and it was so lovely. I would just like to thank him from the bottom of my heart.
Sue - Blacon Crematorium, Chester
Peter was wonderful, he was easy to chat to and he fully embraced who my dad was and that came through on the 21st so amazingly well
Help when you need it ...
Dealing with death can be a daunting and at times over-whelming experience.
A non-religious humanist approach is centred on people - the person who has died and the people who will be affected by their death. I believe this approach provides for a dignified and human response to death. In increasingly diverse and complex families a humanist approach can also often be more inclusive of differing world views.
If you are having to arrange a funeral it is helpful to consider what is right for you and your family - taking into account the wishes of the deceased.
For many people this will be a cremation wth a ceremony held at a crematorium and these can be lovely and very personal ceremonies. Times permitted vary at different crematoria.
Burial's are also an option of course with a service at a crematorium or elsewhere followed by a burial. Some services can be held at a natural burial ground as well.
Whilst every ceremony is unique a typical structure for a funeral ceremony at a crematorium is as follows.
Introductory music
Words of Welcome
A Summary of the Life and Personality of the person who has died. (their story)
A reading or poem
Period for Personal Reflection - a few moments to allow for private thoughts about the persona who has died - sometimes in silence or sometimes with music and pictures from their life.
Farewells - the sombre moment where formal farewells are expressed and sometimes teh coffin is hidden from view.
Closing words and notices.
Music
Sometimes I read everything and on other occasions family and friends will contribute. There are no set rules although the timing is important.
The use of what is termed "direct cremation" is also increasingly popular and can be a cost effective option. A direct cremation has little or no attendance and often a memorial is held some time afterwards in a community hall perhaps, hotel or public house, at home or in a garden or elsewhere. This can can be very rewarding as it can be planned around working lives and bring people together in a social way as well. With fewer time constraints memorials can offer greater opportunity for different people to participate if they wished and contribute to the celebration of a person's life.
I charge £200 to prepare and deliver a burial or a ceremony at a crematorium - these fees are usually included in the disbursements paid on your behalf by your funeral director.
For memorials my fees are a little higher at £250 as the celebrations of life are often more complex. Fees include all meetings, travel, correspondence, script writing, delivery of the ceremony.
Your memorial can be held anywhere subject to permissions and practicalties and can follow or take place before a direct cremation. It can still include music if desired.